


Lay Down Beside Me

by poprockshawty



Series: Between My Heartstrings [2]
Category: EXO (Band), f(x)
Genre: Angst, Boys Kissing, Cheating, Drinking, Drunken Flirting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Extramarital Affair, F/F, F/M, Female Homosexuality, First Kiss, First Meetings, First Time, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homosexuality, Interns & Internships, Kissing, Lesbian Character, M/M, Smoking, Sub!Yifan, producer loey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2019-05-16 22:04:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14819726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poprockshawty/pseuds/poprockshawty
Summary: Yixing doesn't usually like boys, but when he does, he likes them tall, ridiculously attractive, and Chinese.





	1. Boys & Booze

**Author's Note:**

  * For [castorous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/castorous/gifts).



> This is for Cher. Happy birthday! <3
> 
> Considering this is my first ever fanxing fic, my first ever member x member fic, and my first ever fic with a homosexual couple as the focus...I think it turned out to be better than I had expected! :P
> 
> I wrote this as a sequel to 'Where I Belong' which is focused on Baekhyun/OC. Although it would be nice to check that out, it's not an absolute must. All you need to know in order to understand the background for this story is that the female lead from the prequel, Solbin, is one of the supporting characters here. The rest will be revealed in time.
> 
> Please enjoy. *v*

“Oh, goddamn, it’s cold,” Solbin whined once she stepped out of the office building, shuddering as she buried her tired face into her gloved hands and yawned. Even working as an intern was hectic, although she supposed she was fortunate to have such a nice and understanding boss who did not make her do even one minute of overtime work. Her classmate and colleague, Sehun, on the other hand, did not have the same luck. His fault for procrastinating shamelessly during office hours.

All of Solbin’s exhaustion — unlike the thickening snow — melted away once she saw Yixing on the other side of the road. There was nothing like meeting up with a childhood friend for dinner that brightened Solbin’s mood. She could not wait; she was so. Fucking. Hungry.

“Xing! What are we going to eat?” Solbin asked, patting her growling stomach as if that could prevent it from digesting itself.

“Anything that pleases your appetite will please mine! So long as we don’t go to that hotel again…” Yixing stated wryly, and instantly Solbin winced at the traumatic memory as well.

“Right, definitely not,” she agreed, fishing out her phone from one of her pockets to scroll through all the coupons she had been saving. “Let’s go to the newly opened steakhouse, shall we? I can get a discount on that one, and it’s not too far away from the dessert place you said you’d take me to.”

“Ooh,  _that_  steakhouse? I would’ve thought you’d save that one for Baekhyun,” he remarked, licking his lips in sweet anticipation of the meal he was about to devour.

“Why would I save anything for him?” She forced a small chuckle.

He shrugged. “Just feels to me like it’s somewhere you’d wanna visit with someone you like. It’s known for its romantic atmosphere after all, isn’t it? So many couples —”

“But he and I are not a couple,” she declared emphatically. “I swear,  _you_  want me to get together with him more than  _I_  want me to get together with him.”

“And  _you_  want me to get back into dating again more than  _I_ want it,” he laughed.

“That I do indeed! You have any idea how long it’s been since you last went on a proper date?”

“I think it was back in…2011? No, wait, that w—”

“My point exactly.” She threw a pointed look at him, but it also carried a mysterious tinge of glee. He caught on without difficulty.

“And what exactly are you up to again this time?” He asked, following her up the dimly lit stairs to find the steakhouse. It seemed like he had little sense of direction whereas she was taking the lead, but he was definitely not a meek little lamb, for she had never, not even once, successfully orchestrated a date for him — he had always found a way out of it. It was almost as if he was avoidant of dating, treated it as some sort of a crisis to be averted at all costs, but there was no reason, really, for him to feel that way. His counter-attempts, however, did nothing to deter her.

Once they were seated and had ordered their food, she began to explain. “I know you have a type, Yixing.”

“I do?” He looked up at her, absentmindedly fiddling with his cutlery and napkin.

She nodded confidently. “You don’t usually like boys, but when you do, you like them tall, ridiculously attractive, and Chinese.”

He snorted. “Where are you getting all this information from?”

Deep inside, though, he could not agree more with her hypothesis. His heart began to beat faster as he thought about the hottie he had met last week, and he had not been able to get the guy out of his mind ever since. Technically, they were not even properly acquainted. He did not even know the guy’s name and they were probably never going to cross paths again. All he knew was that this nameless hottie must have walked right out of one of Yixing’s wet dreams.

“Doesn’t matter. And don’t deny it. Your heart wants what it wants,” she decreed. “So I met this amazing guy. He’s also interning with me at the office. He’s got the broadest shoulders and when I first met him I thought he must be a model of some sort. Seriously, he can make the corridor between the pantry and the washroom his very own runway. And did I mention he’s tall? Here, I’ve a selfie with him. His name is Sehun. Cute, right? He’s just your type, and hella gay,” she smirked and slid her phone across the table to him.

“Wow,” said Yixing, looking enticed and impressed.

“Yeah? Looks like someone you’d fancy making out with?” Solbin winked and poked Yixing in wicked amusement.

“Hush. Stop exposing me. He’s Korean?” He prodded.

“Half-Korean, half-Chinese,” she revealed, swiping right on her phone. “Which is why I wanted to show this to you. There’s a Chinese New Year party next week. It’s near where you live, so I don’t wanna hear any excuses from you.”

“Next week? But I’ve got a —”

“Uh-uh. Now normally I don’t care for parties, but if I have to drag you there myself, I will. Besides, Sehun is going and I already told him that you’ll be going,” she added mischievously. “Come on! It’ll be fun!”

Yixing grimaced. “Didn’t Byun Baekhyun also tell you it was going to be fun to go skinny dipping? You two ended up breaking the law. Now I don’t know about you, but I haven’t got a kink for getting into legal trouble.”

“Hush. Stop exposing me,” she hissed, making a half-hearted attempt to conceal her playful grin. “You’ll go to the party, though, won’t you? I know you miss China. Not to mention there’s booze. You can’t tell me you’re not at least a tiny little bit tempted.”

“Boys and booze,” he joked and nodded in approval. “That’s gonna be hard to resist.”

* * *

A week later, as expected, Yixing did find himself surrounded by boys and booze at the Chinese New Year party.

A gorgeous face like Sehun’s was unforgettable. Yixing had spotted him from across the room, and he had already had enough booze to slip into the rather fearless and perhaps even slightly reckless persona that Solbin would no doubt be proud of. Nothing could stop him from walking up to the tall, handsome boy — except Yixing did see someone else get there first: a cute boy about his own height with eye-catching blond hair had approached Sehun confidently, and had proceeded to entwine his hand in Sehun’s, comfortably resting his cheek on Sehun’s shoulder too. Those broad shoulders must be the weakness of so many. Surely Sehun had a lot of admirers anyway, solely judging from his visuals. Yixing continued to casually look on as Sehun smiled and kissed the cute boy, which made Yixing chuckle to himself and look away. Solbin had nothing but good intentions, but how could she not know that her hot colleague already was spoken for? Yixing shook his head and turned on his heel, making his way to the bar. He figured that even though the most handsome boy in the room was not his for the taking —

Hold on. Yixing almost gasped. Forget Sehun; he had just been dethroned. Or perhaps the title of the most handsome boy in the room had never belonged to him in the first place, not when Yixing found  _him_  at the bar. Him. Him!!! The nameless stranger. The one that Yixing thought only existed in his fantasies and imaginations. But he was real, and he was standing right there, and he looked utterly flawless. First of all, he was so fucking tall. What the hell was he so tall for? To make hearts race? Rude. Also, he was so gorgeous, and just so fucking — ugh.

“Hey!” Yixing called out unabashedly, part of him hoping it would sound more like he was excited to run into this unbelievably good-looking man again than as if he were expressing his frustration.

The man snapped out of his reverie, and the look of pleasant surprise on his infuriatingly gorgeous face followed. “Hey!” He beamed. “I remember you. A couple weeks ago — at the pitch event — that was you, wasn’t it?”

“Y-yeah! I didn’t think you’d remember me, but yeah,” Yixing answered happily, his heart beating fast, his mouth dry, and his palms sweating.

“Of course I remember you! You saved our asses that time! I don’t even know how to thank you for it…and also because I don’t know your name,” he replied sheepishly, scratching the nape of his neck cutely. “And I don’t know who you are, except that you must be really knowledgeable in Finance.”

“Well,” Yixing laughed. “I’m getting my Masters degree in Finance after all. And you can call me Yixing.”

“I’m Yifan,” he smiled, and Yixing’s heart skipped a beat. Shit, his smile could light up a whole room. Yixing was barely listening even as Yifan continued talking. “Lord knows what would have become of us if you hadn’t come along. We didn’t even know we were making a big mistake. Our presentation would have gone so wrong, I can’t even imagine…”

A couple of weeks ago, there was an event at Yixing’s university where numerous teams of aspiring entrepreneurs had gathered to pitch their startups to a panel of venture capitalists. Being a Finance student himself, Yixing was there too, pleased to see so many enthusiastic youngsters with big dreams, so full of life and energy. But what caught his eye in the first place was not Yifan’s visuals but, rather, how nervous he was as he rehearsed his speech to himself in preparation for his presentation, hurriedly double-checking a few things with the two friends who formed his team. Having overheard their conversation, Yixing could not help but frown when he noticed that they got some calculations wrong. If a student like him was able to pick up on the erroneous statistics...surely it would not escape the VCs’ meticulous attention. It seemed like a big deal too, and could potentially screw up their whole project if they went ahead with what they had prepared. And so, he hardly hesitated before marching right up to Yifan and his team, pointed out the mistakes to them, and helped them adjust their presentation so that they, well, at least stood a chance.

“But did it go well? Did you get the funding in the end?” Yixing asked.

“Yeah we did! Soon we’ll have enough capital to expand our studio and upgrade our equipment,” Yifan announced in delight. “And I won’t forget that we owe our success to you. I’ve been thinking that if I could have the chance to repay you, I’d love to —”

“Oh, no, you don’t have to. I’m glad you guys made it and I just wish you best of luck with your recording company! And — not to market myself as a potential financial consultant but — if you ever need any help with this sort of stuff, just come to me!” Yixing replied with joy, and quickly realized that this was the moment that he should leave his contact for Yifan.  _Wow, kudos to you, Yixing! Good job! Giving your number to a hot guy! This is your biggest accomplishment so far! Well done, you!_  A rapturous voice rang in Yixing’s head and made him giggle — it was probably Solbin’s voice.

Yifan also fished out a business card and handed it to Yixing. He was here, after all, to mingle and socialize, and yet all night he had just been drinking and looking around aimlessly. And right now, he did not even reckon he wanted to spend time with anyone apart from Yixing. “We couldn’t have done it without you. You realize how important you are to me, right?” Yifan almost gushed, and then his eyes widened. Ah, shit. “I mean, to all of us,” he added, awkwardly clearing his throat. “My teammates are incredibly thankful as well. I’d love to introduce them to you properly some time.”

“That’d be nice; I’d love that too,” Yixing agreed right away, and there was no doubt in his mind that he was much more interested in getting to see Yifan again than in getting acquainted with his business partners.

“Ge~!” An unfamiliar voice was heard but a familiar face came into Yixing’s sight — the face of the  _second_  most good-looking boy in the room, the one that Yixing had been rather focused on ever since he got here. Sehun came along, still holding hands with the cute boy he had been kissing just now. Yixing observed him and Yifan curiously; they seemed to be quite close. Both of them were so good-looking, and now that Yixing came to think about it, they actually did look a bit alike, especially now that they were standing side by side…it was almost as if they were  _related_.

“Shixun, have you had too much to drink?” Yifan asked calmly.

“Noooo,” Sehun lied. “Luhan and I will be going home first, okay?”

“Alright. Text me when you get home,” Yifan replied, fumbling with his pockets in search of some cash to hand to Sehun for the taxi ride.

“Hmph,” Sehun grunted perfunctorily and followed his boyfriend out, and immediately Yifan returned his attentions to Yixing.

“Sorry,” he smiled. What a dazzling smile. “That was my cousin, by the way.”  



	2. Blessing In Disguise

Several long days had passed since the Chinese New Year party, and Yifan had spent just as many sleepless nights at the studio. Building a clientele was no easy task, but Yifan was highly motivated right now. He reckoned it was largely due to Yixing’s encouragement that he could stay motivated — texts from Yixing had managed to put a smile on Yifan’s face no matter how tired or frustrated he was because of work. Secretly, Yifan was even glad that he screwed up the statistics in the first place. Otherwise it would not have brought Yixing into his life.

“You’re in a good mood,” Chanyeol commented, glancing up at Yifan. “Something you wanna share?”

“Nope,” Yifan giggled, standing up and stretching his arms. “Ah, I haven’t seen the sky in such a long time now. Must be a beautiful day outside, I bet.”

“Don’t change the topic,” said Chanyeol as he efficiently rearranged his sheet music. “You ain’t keeping secrets from me, hyung. If you’ve got good news, spill.”

“I really haven’t. Honest,” Yifan insisted, although the smile stayed on his face. “You wanna go grab lunch together? I’m hungry.”

“Nah, meeting with client in ten. Would be nice if you could get something for me though,” Chanyeol replied, grabbing the guitar nearest to his chair and tuning it.

“Will do,” said Yifan casually on his way out, not even wearing his shoes properly. The cold wind hit his face mercilessly once he was outdoors, making him uneager to stand outside any longer than necessary. Seeing as Starbucks was the closest, and Chanyeol would most likely not complain about only getting a sandwich for lunch, Yifan made up his mind and went right in.

Yifan was hardly picky with his food (except when it came to coriander and fish because those monstrosities just made him lose his appetite) considering it was already a luxury to get to have a proper, albeit small, meal. While he was still deciding between the chicken panini and the ham ciabatta — oh, hey, the mayo one looks nice too —

“Fanfan.”

He froze, and it had nothing to do with the strong gusts of the cold winds that rudely invaded the café when the automatic doors opened for customers. It was a voice he knew all too well, a voice he once loved and adored, and a voice he never thought he would ever have to hear again.

When he finally had the sense to turn around, there she was. She was much smaller than him in stature, but somehow, something about the way she was staring at him, and that diabolical half-smirk on that deceptively angelic face of hers, had made him feel small. So very small, and powerless, and subservient. His height advantage did not mean shit when he was in front of her. She had a way of bringing him to his knees, literally and otherwise, and convincing him that that was where he belonged.

When he remained speechless, the smirk on her face grew. It seemed like such a long time ago when she had conditioned him to obediently, deferentially call her ‘Mistress’ while she would call him ‘Fanfan’ so affectionately.

“Mi…” Yifan gulped. “Mijoo-ssi,” he finally stammered after a deep breath. "I...didn't expect to see you here," he confessed, eyes darting everywhere. "I thought you hated Starbucks."

Mistress — ahem, Mijoo — merely laughed. It was neither icy nor acerbic, just belittling. He still reacted to her conditioning as if he were still hers to control. While he felt ashamed and embarrassed, she was amused and pleased to discover that she still held so much power and influence over him. Look at how he still struggled to say her name! What a nervous little boy...just like he was when they first met, when they first kissed, and when they had their first time.

"I'm impressed. You remember. Makes me wonder what else about my preferences you still keep in mind," Mijoo taunted. "You're right. I do hate it here. But my wife likes it, so, I'm here for her. Oh! Look, there she is." Her tone changed drastically as she locked gazes with the lady who just walked in, and her sly smirk turned into a saccharine smile. “Hey, honey. Why don't you wait for me upstairs?”

Yifan looked even more uncomfortable. How was he supposed to look into the eyes of the person whose spouse had an affair with him? And from the look on her face...she  _knew_. Not just about the serial affairs, but that  _he_  was the one her wife cheated with. She just knew. She still foolishly stuck around even though it could not have been clearer that she was married to a pathological cheater.

“Of course. I wouldn’t want to interrupt anything,” she chirped subserviently, plastering a standard customer service smile on her pretty face. It came with certain perks to be the trophy wife of Jung Mijoo, CEO, but happiness was not one of the perks.

“I really should go,” Yifan spluttered. He hated being impolite, but he was certain that he was going to be nauseous if he stayed a moment longer. He had lost his appetite completely.

“I’ll see you around,” Mijoo replied with guileful simplicity as Yifan got the hell out of there as quickly as his long legs would take him, and he hoped with all his heart that he would NEVER have to see her again. Never ever. Please. He knew how much of an liar she was and how she never kept her promises, but what she said just now she meant. Fanfan coming back into her life once again was surely going to bear implications especially regarding the next affair she was going to pursue. In her insidious mind were the memories, clear as day, of all the times she shared a bed with Fanfan, claimed him as her own, and fulfilled him carnally. Back then he would always ask her,  _beg_  her to use him for her pleasure, said it was  _all_  that he desired. ‘As long as Mistress is happy’, he would say, on his knees, cheeks flushed and panting slightly from the intensity of the teasing and pleasing that had been going on all night. He was the perfect, good little sub that she wanted, and even though their previous illicit relationship had to end because her wife was seriously considering a divorce, Mijoo wanted him back, for her own enjoyment. And she sure did have a history of getting whatever she wanted, no matter the means.

* * *

Outside, Yifan threw his head back and exhaled. He rubbed his temples and reminded himself to breathe, just breathe and everything was going to be alright, but the cold air made him less willing to inhale. He thought he might throw up, but the thought of Chanyeol starving and complaining in the studio had compelled him to pick up his pace and go to another café that was just a block away. He marched in, his mind still a mess as he reached randomly for one of the sandwiches on the racks, not caring what fillings it had.

“Ah! I'm sorry—Yifan? Whoa, hey, it really is you!” said the small man who just turned around and crashed right into Yifan, but it really took a moment for Yifan himself to realize what was going on, since he had so much on his mind.

Yifan looked down in surprise and blinked in confusion for a moment. “Y-yixing?” His heart was thumping loud in his chest, and he was not sure if it was due to the run-in with Mistress and all the memories that got brought back, or if it was because of Yixing and how cute he looked, a cup of yogurt in one hand and a heavy Finance textbook in another.

“Are you alright? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost. Everything okay?” Yixing asked.

“I…” Yifan paused and stuttered a little. He still had not regained his ability to think properly, and it was not like he could tell Yixing the scandalous, crazy truth. Luckily, his stomach came to his rescue, and growled. “Nah, it’s nothing. I’m just hungry and a bit tired. Let’s eat together?”

That was sort of smooth, but unexpected and not even Yifan himself thought he would say that. But it made Yixing’s day! He beamed widely and it made Yifan’s heart skip  _another_  beat. Yifan was hyper-conscious of how awkward and nervous in general and especially when he was around Yixing, but it was also so easy to put all his focus on Yixing, his dimple, his curls, his pout, his grin...oh shit, Yixing was mesmerizing.

“I’m sorry; it must be really boring to listen to me talk…” said Yixing with an awkward chuckle once he noticed that Yifan was no longer paying attention to what he was saying.

“Huh? No! No, it’s...it’s not like that. I’m so sorry,” Yifan explained quickly. “Please, do go on. I was just distracted…”

“What, by my godly good looks? My irresistible charm?”

“I…” he spluttered. “Y-ye-yeah. You’re cute,” he admitted unabashedly, earnest compliments spilling from his mouth before he could regret it. Actually, no, he did not even regret it. He actually enjoyed giving Yixing all the praise he deserved, and he would not even be surprised if he was like, the fourth person to call Yixing cute today, but whatever. He meant it, and he had never related more to the heart-eyes emoji than when he was gazing at Yixing.

Yixing laughed. At first he really did think Yifan was just playing along, but the tall man looked so flustered and apologetic that Yixing was convinced that he was sincere. “Thanks, but I bet you say that to all the cute boys…”

“What…? No, I don’t...really, I don’t...” Yifan panicked. He thought he must have messed up. Why was he so bad at this? This was hardly flirting; it was just maintaining a normal conversation and he was crap at even that?  _Wu Yifan,_ please _for the love of god pull yourself together and_ stop _embarrassing yourself in front of your crush. Gosh, it’s bloody embarrassing._

“ _You’re_  the one who gets cuter each time we meet,” Yixing replied breezily, smoothly drinking from his iced tea. “How am I gonna handle you next time we meet? My heart is not gonna be able to take it.”

Yifan, on the other hand, almost spat out his juice. He was flattered, but he was just unused to getting called ‘cute’, and for a compliment to come from someone who did not have any ulterior motives. It made his heart flutter and he was so absorbed in the moment that he hardly realized his phone vibrating in his pocket.

“Oh shit sorry I have to take this,” Yifan babbled, picking up right away. He cleared his throat and changed his tone. “Ayo wassup?”

“Ayo waddup krease? Where's my food?” Chanyeol demanded, whining.

“Shit, yeah, I forgot—”

“Why, did you run off with some chick into the sunset?” Chanyeol teased in spite of his debilitating hunger. “I can't believe you forgot about me. Gosh, I thought we were brothers...guess I was just the only one who—”

“I'll be right there; don't starve to death yet,” said Yifan into the phone hurriedly and hung up. He stood up too abruptly and almost knocked the tray over. A clumsy giant, that was what he was.

Yixing raised an eyebrow. “Jealous boyfriend?”

Sheepishly, Yifan scratched the nape of his neck. “No, that's actually one of my partners, the one with big ears. I haven't got a jealous boyfriend,” he said. “I mean, I haven't got a boyfriend.”

“Yeah, me neither,” Yixing replied without missing a beat.  _Perhaps it's time I consider changing that_ , he added inwardly.

Yifan giggled. “We’ll meet again, right?”

Yixing nodded. “But only if you're gonna be at least as cute next time as you are today.”


	3. Shixun

The following day, rather than making the time to have lunch with her beautiful wife, CEO Jung Mijoo had opted for dining with some of her employees which happened to include the newest interns, Solbin and Sehun.

Mijoo had made an effort to make sure that Sehun would be there and that he would be sitting next to her. She was not letting her newest target of a boytoy out of her sight. Even if the food was mediocre, at least Sehun was a feast for her eyes.

When it was time to split the bill, Sehun whipped out his wallet which inadvertently revealed that it carried a photo of himself and his cousin, Yifan. This drew Mijoo’s attention right away. She was surprised to discover that they were acquainted, but did not let it show on her face.

“Sehun-ah,” she began casually. “Who’s that handsome fella?” She asked, pointing at  _Sehun_  in the picture.

The boy giggled. “That’s me and my cousin at my birthday party last year,” he answered gladly, completely oblivious to his boss’ schemes and intentions. “Everybody seems to think that my cousin is so much more handsome though.”

“Nah, I wouldn’t even look twice at him if he’s standing next to you,” she lied, eager to keep his attention for an extra moment while Solbin and the other employees were working out the math and rummaging their purses for the right amount of cash. “Are you two close? I never knew my own cousins.”

“Oh, yeah, we are! He’s always so protective over me and he buys me food and takes me to the best restaurants in the city. Basically he spoils me, but,” he shrugged playfully. “I think I like it that way.”

“Did someone say ‘food’?” Solbin whirled and joined in on the discussion, and Mijoo let Sehun reveal as much as possible about his relationship with Yifan without prompting him as Solbin was already doing enough of that. As they chatted and Mijoo listened carefully, she hid her smirk and paid close attention. All this information was going to be very useful to her.

* * *

Jung Mijoo was a busy woman. She had not only extramarital affairs to spend her time on, but also business affairs. Promptly she had boarded a flight to Hong Kong to close a business deal, and so her employees were working under considerably less pressure as their boss was not around to keep a close watch on them. Sehun was downright shamelessly napping on the office desk, drooling too, whereas Solbin still diligently tended to the tasks she was assigned. However, when it was lunchtime, suddenly, for some strange, unknown reason, Sehun was not sleepy anymore, and dashed to the exit of the office so efficiently that Solbin with her much shorter legs struggled to follow.

“You having lunch with your boyfriend today?” Solbin asked as she and Sehun waited for the elevator.

“Nah, just my cousin,” Sehun answered.

“Oh, the handsome one?”

“No,  _I’m_  the handsome one.”

Outside the building, Yifan waited patiently. It was still a cold winter but luckily it was not too windy today. When a figure approached him, he looked up from his phone, thinking it must be Shixun, but it turned out to be somebody else.

“Oh my gosh, it really is you!”

“Yixing!” Yifan broke into a smile albeit surprised.

“We keep running into each other! And I was right, you’re even more of a cutie than last time,” Yixing guffawed. “I knew it.”

“Ah! I’ve said it before and I’m gonna say it again: YOU are the cutie here,” Yifan insisted, wondering if Yixing would allow him to poke his dimple.

“Nope, it’s you and that’s final,” Yixing decreed. “Anyway, what are you doing here? I’m waiting to have lunch with my friend; she works here.”

“Oh? Same here, I’m waiting for my cousin. You remember Shixun from the Chinese New Year party, right? He works here too,” Yifan explained, and told Yixing the name of Mijoo’s company.

Yixing chuckled. "Did I ever tell you? I actually only went to the Chinese New Year party because I knew your cousin would be there. Kinda wanted to chat him up but, well,” he shrugged. “It was pretty clear that he was spoken for."

Yifan gaped at Yixing and then frowned. This felt wrong, the thought of Yixing with someone else, not to mention his baby cousin. "You and Shixun?!" He blurted, shaking his head and making a face in displeasure. "What the hell. No. You're mine."

His reaction made Yixing laugh. "I'm yours?"

It took Yifan a moment to realize what it sounded like. But he was not okay with pushing Yixing into the arms of another. "Yeah," he asserted loudly and resolutely, then cleared his throat. "You are."

Yixing, however, seemed to have forgotten all about Yifan's bold declaration once Solbin showed up. “I can’t believe you haven’t made time for me in almost three weeks!” She complained, greeting her childhood friend with a playful smack on the arm.

“Eh, I didn’t think you’d miss me,” Yixing replied playfully without missing a beat, looking away and pretending to not care.

“How dare you think that,” Solbin uttered and, pouting, rested her head comfortably on Yixing’s shoulder.

“Oof, do I really mean that much to you?”

“More than you know!”

“I’ll treat you to lunch to prove to you that I was just busy, not deliberately avoiding you,” said Yixing. Turning to Yifan, he waved and said, “I’ll see you next time,” before turning on his heel.

Yifan had been quietly observing the interactions between Yixing the cutie —  _his_  Yixing — and that close friend of his. If he did not know better he might have thought that there was something more than platonic going on between the two of them. But did he really know better? He had only come into Yixing’s life a month ago whereas it seemed like Solbin had been around for many, many years. What did  _he_  know about Yixing anyway? What was Yixing’s favorite color? What was Yixing’s favorite animal? How did Yixing like his coffee? Wait, did he drink coffee at all? He opted for iced tea last time…Yifan had none of the answers, but he bet Solbin knew Yixing like the back of her hand. It was not a competition, but somehow it made Yifan feel a bit inferior.

“Ge, did you hear what I just said?” Shixun whined, tugging on the older boy’s arm. “Come on! Let’s go eat.”

“Alright, alright,” said Yifan absentmindedly as he let Shixun lead him to the restaurant he had in mind, following the directions and the map on his phone. “Shixun, that colleague of yours just now…”

“Hmm? Solbin? What about her?”

“Do you know if she...she and Yixing…” Yifan hesitated, searching for the words to say.

“If they’re a couple or something? I don’t know, but now that you make me think about it, it does feel like she talks a lot about him and has a lot of good things to say about him. I wouldn’t be surprised if they do date,” Shixun shrugged. “Why?”

“Hmm. Nah, I’m just asking.” Yifan slid his hands into his pockets, feigning nonchalance. What did it matter anyway? It was not like Yixing was  _really_  his. “So, how’s work?”

“Oh, quite good, these days everyone is quite relaxed because the boss is out of town. I basically just sleep all day and eat all the snacks in the pantry,” Shixun confessed gleefully. “This is by far the most enjoyable internship I’ve ever had.”

“The boss…” Yifan mumbled. He did not trust Mijoo at all, especially not around his little cousin, but how was he supposed to protect Shixun against her tricks and predation?

“I’m so lucky our boss is such a nice lady. She always makes sure we’re working comfortably and she’s quite humble too. Isn't it amazing that she built this company all on her own? I never thought she would care to spend time with us since we’re the lowest-level employees and we’re just going to intern at her company for a short while and then we’re gone. But she’s willing to talk to us and teach us lots of stuff and listen to us as well. And you know, the other day she saw that pic of us at my birthday last year, and she said I’m more handsome than you,” Shixun added smugly.

“I agree, you’re more handsome than me,” Yifan nodded and replied halfheartedly. It made Shixun smile but Yifan could not bring himself to smile. Deep inside he was burdened with worry. He  _knew_  Mijoo knew how to make herself appear approachable and amiable, how to manufacture a lovely personality and fool everyone with that. He himself got fooled too when he first met her, and of course so did Shixun. It seemed like she was spending an unusual amount of time getting to know Shixun. What intentions did she have toward him? Yifan felt a strong urge to save Shixun from following in his footsteps and falling victim to her manipulative charms.

“And she always talks about how happy she and her wife are. I really hope that someday Luhan and I can be like that too,” said Shixun innocently, with the happiest smile on his face.

Yifan shuddered.  _No, you don’t want to end up like Mijoo and her wife; they’re like the opposite of relationship goals_ , he thought to himself, but he did not know how in the world he could possibly tell Shixun about what she was really like.

“I’m sure you’ll be even happier,” Yifan stated, for good measure. “Hey, put your phone away. We’re crossing the road.”

* * *

When Mijoo returned to Seoul and went back to work, she summoned Sehun to her office.

"Sehun-ah, I've been told that while I was away, you’ve been dozing off in the middle of work," said Mijoo, keeping her tone gentle and hardly accusatory. Obviously she knew that he did more than 'dozing off' but honestly she would let him sleep as much as he wanted at work as long as he would sleep with her too.

“Ah, boss, I'm very sorry. I admit I haven't been concentrating on my work but I understand that you and the company have higher expectations for my working efficiency. I will try to do better and I won't repeat my mistakes. I apologize,” said Sehun seriously, although the taste of the biscuits he nicked from the pantry still lingered in his mouth.

“Well then, since you know what you've done wrong, I won't issue a penalty this time, but you still need to make up for it. I'll definitely have one of my managers check on you more often from now on, and on top of that why don't you come into my office after you've completed your daily tasks and you can help me out with...some other stuff,” she stated mysteriously. “This is my policy with all my employees,” she lied without blinking. “You'll have to work overtime to make up for your lost time. Any objections?”

“No, ma’am,” he replied quietly, lowering his head in subservience, which made her tilt her head in amusement. A part of her even imagined him saying those same words to her and behaving like this with her in a completely different setting, such as the bedroom.

“You sure? Working overtime would mean you have less time to spend with your family and your girlfriend,” she said, crossing her legs and licking her lips.

He shook his head. “My family won't mind. Nor will my boyfriend,” he said quickly. “I'm really sorry to have inconvenienced you, ma’am. I promise to do better and I'm grateful that I have the chance to make up for it.”

Mijoo frowned slightly. ‘Boyfriend’? Sehun was in a relationship? And not with a chick? It looked like he was not going to make an easy target, which meant she had to reevaluate her decision to prey on him. Swiftly she ended their discussion and sent him back to his work so she could be on her own to focus on her thoughts and readjust her strategies.


	4. Haunting

It kept Yifan up at night, thinking about how vulnerable Shixun was to Mijoo’s duplicity and rapacity. Granted, he knew Shixun was gay and taken, but he was still haunted by her, by memories of their relationship. To be honest, no, it was hardly a relationship. It was an affair, and a hell lot of sex. And while the sex was great, the emotional turmoil and burden that came with being Mijoo’s side piece was not at all great. For so long he had held on to the false hope that she would leave her wife for him, because that was the hope that she was feeding him. In the end, she made her choice and it was not him. It was never going to be him. He felt cheated, but what right did he have to feel that way? He was the side piece after all. Why would she choose him over her lawfully wedded wife anyway? Why would  _anyone_  choose him? He dreamed of being in a loving, healthy, committed relationship with someone who truly loved him and whom he truly loved, but after what happened with Mijoo he was convinced that this ideal relationship really only existed in his dreams. At least, he was not worthy of it.

This was one of the rare nights that he got to spend in the comfort of his own bed, rather than at the studio with Chanyeol’s light snores in the background when neither of them could actually afford the time to sleep much. And yet, Yifan found that he could not sleep. He just could not. Too much was on his mind. He was exhausted, but restless and wakeful and anxious.

Sighing, he grabbed his phone off the nightstand and checked his notifications. There were still some clients he had to get back to. Baekhyun had sent some memes to the group chat. Yixing had not replied yet. Well, obviously, he would be sleeping soundly. Or at least Yifan hoped that he would be sleeping soundly and resting well. It would be nice if he had someone — cough, Yixing, cough — to cuddle with him right now and perhaps that would allow him to sleep better. But contrary to his words earlier that day, Yixing was not his to have, nor his to hold. And he probably was not the one on Yixing’s mind either. It was probably that friend of his, or somebody else. Not Yifan. And it felt wrong.

Sighing again, Yifan was prepared to put his phone down and try to get some shut-eye. The sun would be up soon and he figured it would not be a good idea to show up to a meeting with a client looking like a zombie. But he was lured further away from a peaceful slumber when new notifications popped up.

_2 unread texts from: Mistress_

Yifan felt chills run down his spine and clutched his blanket, pulling it closer to himself as he shivered in discomfort. He still had not changed her name in his contacts and he  _hated_  how that word just instantly brought back so many memories and he could not even stop his mind from replaying all of it, so vividly too.

He blinked at the ceiling in despair as he hesitated and wondered if he should even read her texts. His heart was pounding in his chest but it was filled with a poignant sense of dread. Should he do it? Should he not? His head was beginning to hurt and he was also starting to accept that tonight he was just not going to get any sleep. He was sickened by the thought of having to interact with her, and yet if he needed to protect Shixun from her, from someone who always seemed to be ten steps ahead of him…

He ended up opening the messages.

_Mistress: Fanfan, it was nice seeing you the other day.  
_ _Mistress: By the way, how come I don’t recall you ever mentioning that good-looking cousin of yours while we were together?_

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. He gulped and as expected, the nausea came back. He tried to take deep breaths to calm himself, but could hardly feel its effects. He surprised himself when a rational thought came into his mind amidst all the mess: if Shixun had really become her target, why would she give him a hint about it? Why wouldn't she keep her motives concealed?

Yifan buried his face into a pillow. This must mean that she was up to something possibly worse than luring Shixun into her harem, but he had no idea what she was after, and no one could help him figure it out or resist her advances, for they usually took place before he even knew it. Oh goodness, what in the world was he going to do?

* * *

Eventually Yifan had to get out of bed and go to work. It was agony not just because he did not get much sleep but also because he wanted to keep texting Yixing yet at the same time he also dreaded opening the messenger apps as that meant he might have to deal with Mijoo’s messages, and he just was not ready. Luckily, he was able to survive the meetings and other work errands in the morning, thanks to Baekhyun showing up at the studio today and keeping spirits high. While Yifan was mixing some tracks in one room and Chanyeol was on the drum set in the next room, Baekhyun stayed stationed at the reception. They were not expecting any clients at the moment, at least not until the afternoon, so for now Baekhyun tidied the stationery and documents on the desk and fished out a delivery menu. “Fellas,” he said aloud delightfully. “We eating good today.”

Unexpectedly the doorbell rang and innocently, Baekhyun let in the lady at the door. She was dressed more like a businesswoman than a musician but hey, business was business.

Baekhyun exchanged a few words with her, and somehow she talked her way into a quick meeting with Yifan even though she did not have an appointment. Her luck, and Yifan’s misfortune.

Yifan stared blankly at her, then at the ever joyful Baekhyun, and then back at her again. The nauseous feeling had returned right away and he felt a lump in his throat. He gulped and shuffled backward, feeling as if he was about to pass out. Whilst she smirked at him knowingly, Baekhyun was blissfully oblivious to their history.

“Please, have a seat, ma’am. I'll go get you some coffee,” said Baekhyun, and then he was out of sight.

“H-how...how did you get here?” Yifan demanded. He felt anger, but none of it was reflected in the way he spoke. He sounded timid and his words came out as a shaky whisper only.

Mijoo sat down comfortably, casually setting her handbag on the table. “A little bird told me,” she chirped.

Yifan clenched his fists together and gritted his teeth. “Shixun…”

“Is that how his Chinese name is pronounced? Shi-sseun?” Lightheartedly she imitated him and produced a timely giggle just as Baekhyun returned with the hot, bitter coffee. Baekhyun was completely fooled, delighted at the visage of a merry conversation.

“Stay away from him,” Yifan growled fiercely once Baekhyun had shut the door, the soundproof walls of a studio serving a more important purpose than ever.

She cackled wickedly, each sound escaping her throat sounding like nails on chalkboard to Yifan. “Since when do I answer to  _you_ , baby boy?” She said singsong, keeping her head up. It was not even defiance; she was looking up at him but looking down on him.

He bit his lip indignantly, almost hard enough to draw blood. She had messed with him enough, and now she was going to mess with his family member, an utterly defenseless one too, someone even younger and even more innocent than when Fanfan himself had first met Mistress. No way was he going to allow his misfortunes to befall Shixun.

Driven by his vexation, Yifan was on his feet at the speed of light and marched forward only to lunge at Mijoo, grabbing her by the jaw and pressing her against the wall right behind her, and then shoving her further into the wall when he squeezed her neck a little. She gasped and her hands flew to grip his but without force. While he glared at her angrily, she was still quite relaxed and made no effort to get him to stay back or unhand her. She let out a laugh in amusement. “I didn't know you were into choking,” she remarked. “You have  _got_  to let me explore all of your—”

“Shut up,” he cut in lividly. He had never had the guts to interrupt her. It was never his place to. But he did it this time...and he did not even know how in the world he was able to stand up to her. “Now you listen to me very carefully,” he hissed, his fingers curling around her neck even more tightly. “You will  _not_  take advantage of Shixun like you did with me. Don't you dare. I won't allow it. Leave him the fuck alone. Do you have any idea how badly you've damaged me? I swear, if you hurt him, if you so much as lay a finger on him, I'll—”

“You'll what?” She challenged, sharply and crisply. “Fanfan, you're even more protective over Sehun than he lets on. But what will you do? Hmm? Nothing, because you're all talk,” she declared confidently, prying his hand off of her without much effort.

Yifan shook his head adamantly, struggling to find the words to prove her wrong. He faltered, his wrath-driven confidence and assertiveness deserting him and now he was unable to say anything. She kept her eyes fixed on him, her stare growing more and more ferocious by the minute. She placed a finger under his chin and it sent chills down his spine. “Or,” she began wickedly. “It's because you're jealous that I’m considering making someone else my baby boy.”

He swatted her hand away violently. “That's ridiculous.”

“That's also what you said when you were jealous,” she shrugged. There was a sadistic twinkle in her eye once she saw that a chair was conveniently behind Yifan. Abruptly, she placed her hand on his chest, gripped his shirt hard and then gave it a vigorous yank to pull him down to her level. It caught him by surprise and she took this chance to push him down onto the chair. With a thick thud he was seated and right where she wanted him. Swiftly and expertly, she straddled him.

“Get off me,” he whimpered. He would have used his hands to push her away, but he was too damn used to keeping his hands to himself whenever she dominated him. In fact he was  _trained_  to do so, thanks to her.

“Get off you...or get you off?” She tempted, her voice dropping to a lustful whisper. Tilting her head slightly to the side she leaned in to plant a kiss on his lips, but he did not reciprocate. As she began to move her hips and grind on him, his body reacted to her advances, and from the smirk on her face, she definitely felt it. He gulped in embarrassment and weakly pushed at her hips, grunting once he realized that he did not know how to resist her. He whined helplessly and made another failed attempt at lifting her off of his lap.

“See, baby?” She whispered tenderly, stroking the side of his face and turning his head slightly to place more kisses on his ear. “It feels good, doesn't it?” She licked his face and moved down to his neck as her hands went to his hair. “Be mine again, and I  _promise_  I won't go around fucking other boys. I only want you—”

She got cut off once again and this time it was because her phone rang. She rolled her eyes as the ringtone reminded her that this was a call she would be wise to not ignore. “Dammit, it's my wife,” she muttered in annoyance, but she had to disengage from Yifan and answer the call anyway. “Yes, darling, I'll pick you up in ten…”

While she was irked, Yifan let out a sigh in relief. He dashed to the door right away and paced toward the bathroom, practically running there. He thought he might throw up, panting a bit as he splashed cold water onto his face. The water was so cold that it numbed his skin and he groaned in discomfort but this was better than exposing himself to her kisses and her poisonous touch. He waited till his breathing had calmed to nervously step out of the bathroom, and luckily Baekhyun had just shown Mijoo out so he would not have to deal with her, at least for now.

“I’m gonna go get some air,” said Yifan to Baekhyun, trying hard to sound as calm as he could manage.

As he meandered on the streets, his thick coat and gloves were hardly enough to keep him warm. He was still getting chills as he kept thinking about what the fuck happened with Mijoo just now. He found himself standing at the midpoint of a bridge, leaning on the balustrade and staring into blank space rather than appreciate the view of the river and the city that was right under his nose.

“Yifan?”

At the sound of that soothing voice, Yifan turned around. Once his eyes confirmed for him that it was Yixing, he threw his arms around the smaller boy and hugged him tight, with no intention of letting go until he felt alright again. Yixing was surprised, but not unpleasantly. Unsure of how he ought to react, he also slowly moved his arms to keep Yifan in his embrace.

Yixing felt infinitely warm in Yifan’s arms. Wow, he was so tall. Even Yifan himself was conscious of how much of a giant he was, compared to Yixing’s petit figure. But every encounter with Mijoo, a sexual one or otherwise, had always made him feel small. He chewed on his lip in despair and even though Yixing could not see that, he could feel that the way Yifan clung to him was like a cry for help.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Yixing asked softly, but let Yifan stay this way for as long as he needed.

Yifan let out a deep sigh. “Nothing,” he lied. “I’m alright when I’m with you.” The rest was not a lie.

Yixing, however, could tell that Yifan was keeping a lot to himself and was not ready yet to share it with Yixing. But it was alright. He understood that everybody had their own coping mechanisms. Whereas he was accustomed to Solbin going on a rant and venting to him, perhaps right now what Yifan needed the most was just this silent kind of comfort. Yixing did not want Yifan to be burdened, but he did crave this kind of closeness with Yifan. He wished he could have that under more felicitous circumstances, and as he patted Yifan gently he wished whatever Yifan was going through, it would not trouble him any more, but it would not be easy trying to escape the clutches of the formidable Jung Mijoo.


	5. Probably

Life had to go on no matter what Yifan was going through. He had to keep working and doing what he did and make a living. Even when he was not working he was still working, going clubbing frequently in order to mingle with potential clients and people in the industry. As long as he was in the right place he was convinced he would meet the right people. And alcohol always helped whenever he was trying to socialize, but tonight he kind of wanted more to get drunk than to build connections. If he was drunk then he would not have to worry about anything. And he could really use a few moments of peace even if his liver had to pay the price.

So by the time it was 2 or 3 — he was not really sure — he staggered out of the club. It  _should_  be cold outside, but he was barely feeling it. He was a slave to the alcohol in his system, barely able to stay on his feet. He would totally have fallen to his knees if not for the ever-reliable lamp posts and fences on the side of the streets that he could cling to. Walking a straight line? Out of the question. Oh heck, he wanted to throw up. He felt like he could, any minute. He could tell, from the way he was salivating. He was convinced that he was going to throw up, utterly unceremoniously, on the streets. Ew. Gross. Luckily there was nobody around that he was trying to impress. No potential one-night-stand, no potential client, no venture capitalist. None of that. What a relief. Phew. All better now. Time to take a deep breath and make his way home. Wherever that was. Maybe it would be a good idea to hail a cab. Yeah. Breathe. Breathe. He could feel that urge again, the dreadful urge to vomit. He needed to lie down. But he could not do that on the streets, or could he? His knees gave in eventually and he fell, but that that did not even register until he found himself wondering why he was so close to the ground. Immediately a passerby had rushed to see if he was alright. But not just any passerby. After all, who would still be on the streets at this hour of the day? Probably only extraordinarily assiduous students like Yixing would still stay in the library to study, and not go home if not for food.

Having run out of snacks, Yixing had to leave his beloved library and head home, and as usual he would pass by a bunch of clubs that he did not know Yifan frequented. All he saw was that Yifan was collapsing and drunk as hell.

“Hey, Yifan! Are you okay!” Yixing tried to help him up, allowing the much taller man to lean on him for some much needed support (and in many ways too).

Rather than answering Yixing’s question, Yifan pouted. “I must be sleepwalking,” he concluded, slurring his words. “The most perfect man in the world is right next to me. Woohoo! Hahahaha,” he giggled dryly, a series of weak chuckles leaving his mouth. He then held up a finger and waved it about as if he were counting something. “Whoa,” he cried out loudly suddenly. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! There are...THREE of him!” He exclaimed in drunken euphoria. “Three Yixings!” He burst into laughter. “That’s ama _xing_!”

Yixing sighed, deciding there was not much point in trying to have a conversation with Yifan. Thinking on his feet and seeing as the student dorms was the closest and the safest, Yixing used all the energy he had to haul Yifan to his room.

* * *

When Yifan regained consciousness for a moment, he found himself in bed but it was definitely not his own. He did not know whose, but he did know that it smelled hella nice. And so, even though he was not quite sober enough to try to find out how the hell he got here, he allowed his sleepiness to overcome him and he resumed sleeping. Peacefully too, and considering how sleep-deprived he had been, he really needed that good night of slumber.

It was Yixing who woke up first, in the morning. He spent a moment staring lovingly at Yifan’s sleeping form before slowly getting up and making his way to the bathroom, careful not to make too much noise in an attempt to maintain this silence and utter darkness for Yifan. Yixing had no classes to attend today, so he quietly sat down his desk. He had already made a list in his mind of what he had to accomplish today, but he could only go ahead with his day after figuring out what to do with Yifan, who did not look like he was about to wake up any time soon.

Absentmindedly, Yixing sat back, forgetting that his chair was surely going to produce unpleasant squeaks. As expected, the loud noise had made Yifan stir. Startled, Yixing whispered a quick apology, but Yifan was awake now. And so Yixing thought he might as well open the curtains. The light made Yifan squint, but above that he was perplexed.

“Uh...good morning,” Yifan began tentatively, his throat itchy and dry. He ran a hand through his hair, thankful that this time his hangover was not too serious. His head did hurt a little, but it was bearable.

“Hey, good morning,” replied Yixing, who handed a spare bottle of water to Yifan and then explained everything.

“Wow, I must’ve been really embarrassing and difficult to deal with, huh,” Yifan shook his head and sighed. It was so damn comfortable to just lie here in bed, in  _this_  bed, and it smelled so nice. He never really noticed that Yixing smelled so nice. He did not want to get out of bed but he did anyway, understanding that he was most likely imposing on Yixing already.

“Nah, I’ve been told I’m way worse when drunk. Actually Solbin refuses to go drinking with me,” Yixing chuckled, thinking about the time he threw up in her handbag. “I hope you don’t mind that I brought you here. You weren’t even coherent enough to tell me your address.”

“No, no, I should be the one to apologize,” Yifan replied. “But wait, if  _I_  occupied your bed, then…where...where did you...”

“Ah, yeah, I, um, I just sort of, you know, lied down...beside you…” Yixing explained, scratching the back of his head. “I’m small. I don’t take up a lot of space.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t get me wrong though! Nothing else happened. I wouldn’t try to take advantage of you,” Yixing blurted. “If that’s what you were wondering…”

“No worries,” Yifan choked and cleared his throat. “Just, thank you so much for not leaving me to rot on the streets. I’m really sorry to have bothered you.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I was imagining how disappointed you were gonna be to find out that you woke up in my bed instead of next to some hot chick,” Yixing joked.

“Oh, no, I’m not disappointed at all,” Yifan clarified right away. “And also, I can’t remember all of what happened last night, but if I happen to have said something rude or weird or whatever, I didn’t mean it. Sorry.”

“Oh, so even when you said I was the most perfect man in the world? You didn’t mean that? Damn.” Yixing bit on his lip to stifle a chuckle.

“What, I…” Yifan’s jaw dropped and he was blushing a little. “I said that? Uh, well, about that, I, um, I probably did mean it.”

“‘Probably’.”

“Yeah, probably,” he stuttered. “At least I, I don’t, I don’t disagree with that.”

“I am flattered,” Yixing smiled, his dimple showing. “Anyway, why don’t you go freshen up? I’ve got a spare toothbrush somewhere. And then we can maybe get breakfast together.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’d be lovely!”

* * *

“You ready to go?” asked Yixing as he took out a thick jacket from his wardrobe. Yifan nodded in response, but at the same time he noticed that on one of Yixing’s hangers was a cardigan that clearly looked too feminine for Yixing’s taste and in too small a size. Yifan wondered for a moment if Yixing had this because he had a girlfriend or something. He was sure Yixing did not have a boyfriend but wasn’t there this chick that he was really close with? The one who interned with Shixun at Mijoo’s company? Oh goodness, now that he came to think about it, it did seem like she was one of the most important women in Yixing’s life.

“Is there any reason why you are staring so intensely at this?” Yixing asked hesitantly, wondering if something was wrong.

“Well, I just thought that color would look great on you,” Yifan lied, but sounded sardonic enough for Yixing to laugh it off.

“What, it’s clearly not mine. Solbin left this here when she came over the other day. I keep forgetting to give it back to her,” Yixing smiled and explained. “You know how forgetful I can be.”

 _Are you dating her or something? Are y’all fucking? Maybe friends with benefits?_ Yifan wondered, was even tempted to ask these questions, but ultimately decided against it. He had no right to know; it was too personal. And if Yixing wanted to share then he would, even without prompting. So Yifan decided to change the topic. Once he caught a glimpse of the guitar leaning against the side of the table, he got interested.

“You play the guitar?” He asked.

“Oh yeah I do! Solbin got me this, actually. She had friends who could get me a discount,” Yixing answered happily. “I like playing the piano too, but obviously my room can’t accommodate that.”

“You can’t seem to stop talking about this girl, huh,” Yifan uttered, quickly nudging Yixing so that he would come off as teasing rather than jealous.

Yixing chuckled. “Funny you’d say that. Solbin also complains that I won’t shut up about  _you_  when I’m talking to her.”

Yifan went red in the face, instantly feeling foolish.

“She even said that since I’m so into you, I should probably ask you out,” Yixing revealed playfully. “I’ve been meaning to ask for a second opinion on this. So, what do you think? Should I ask you out? Or should I not take her advice?”

Yifan felt as if his heart was about to jump out of his chest. He licked his lips, his throat went dry, and he could not speak. All he could do was stammer weakly, “yeah, probably.” He gulped. “I think...she gives some sound advice; you should really go ahead with it.” He found himself smiling toward the end of his sentence.

“Dammit, why are you so  _cute_ ,” said Yixing, giggling. “I’ll do it. But what if you say no? What if you don't like me back?”

“I’m saying yes!” Yifan gushed, even doing a little jump as he was too giddy.

“But I haven’t even asked,” Yixing teased.

“Shut up.”

“You can’t make me.”

“Oh, can’t I?” Yifan challenged, pulling Yixing in with one hand and then wrapping his other arm around the shorter boy’s waist. “You wanna test your theory?”

Yifan was so flustered and speechless just a moment ago, but look at him now, so bold and confident. “There are several theories I want to test,” Yixing revealed, looking up at Yifan and smirking. “But honestly, Yifan, there’s no need to be so aggressrmmvm—”

Yifan had decided to effectively disprove Yixing’s theory by shutting him up with a kiss. He knew he could never have resisted it, being so close to Yixing. He was not even surprised that his feelings would take over him. Just like that, he was overpowered. Luckily, Yixing did not mind being wrong, nor did he mind being interrupted, not when he got to kiss Yifan back. He really just wanted to ask Yifan out on a date but now he was getting so much more. To say the least, he was overjoyed, and everything felt right, even as he slowly eased back out of the kiss to look in Yifan’s eyes and smile heartily.

“You were saying?” Yifan asked playfully, grinning from ear to ear.

“Doesn’t matter,” Yixing replied, shaking his head. “Let’s go get breakfast. And it’s a date.”


	6. Old Toys, New Toys.

It was an understatement to say that Yixing liked having Yifan’s hands on him. Not even necessarily in an erotic way, but just, damn, his hands. Yifan was also aware of Yixing’s preference. So Yifan had his hand around Yixing’s waist throughout pretty much the entire evening of their second date, which was spent enjoying the university band concert. But as much as Yixing liked it, he was also so sensitive and especially when Solbin was in sight, he could tell from Yifan’s body language how on guard and possessive he was being.

“I know what you’re thinking, but Solbin and I are just friends,” Yixing whispered his reassurance in Yifan’s ear after the performance. “And I’m yours. You think I’d have forgotten that?”

Yifan gazed at Yixing silently, conscious of the disheartening reason why he just could not let his guard down. Why would  _he_  ever be good enough to have Yixing all to himself, when Yixing could have anybody he wanted, like Mijoo did?

“Really good friends,” Yifan stated, trying to sound neutral rather than show his disappointment and fears. “And for such a long time.”

“While that’s true, that’s also precisely why she and I are both certain that we could never work well together romantically. And I assure you she absolutely supports us as a couple,” Yixing replied softly, grabbing Yifan’s other hand. “Come on. Smile for me. You brought me here so we could have a blast. I am having fun and I want you to be having fun too!”

Yifan broke into a smile at Yixing’s childlike delight. Perhaps Yixing was easy to please but goodness, Yifan  _loved_  putting thought and effort into pleasing Yixing and making him happy.

“Hey, I hope I’m not interrupting?” Chanyeol came along, fixing his cap awkwardly. “Dang it, I hate being the only single potato in our producer trio.”

“Not my problem,” Yifan teased. “Wassup?”

“Oh, some of the band members and their friends are gonna go for hot pot; you guys wanna join too? Or already preoccupied with something steamier than that?” Chanyeol chuckled.

The couple exchanged glances. “I’m hungry,” Yixing declared, and Yifan agreed immediately. It would be a nice opportunity to mingle with aspiring musicians anyway.

“We’d love to come with. Where’s Baekhyunee?” Yifan asked.

“Oh, speak of the devil,” replied Chanyeol. Baekhyun was approaching from a flight of stairs that led to the back of the stage, and he was hand in hand with Solbin. She looked a bit flustered but was nevertheless grinning from ear to ear, looking even happier than if she had won the lottery.

“My dudes! I have some good news to share,” Baekhyun beamed, brimming with happiness that certainly made him glow.

“Are you getting a nose job?” Yifan joked.

“Are you getting fired?” Chanyeol chimed in.

“Are you getting married?” Yixing decided to join the fun and piped up too.

Baekhyun snorted and shook his head. “That’s too predictable. What I want to announce is that Solbin and I are together. Like, officially. For real.” He turned back to Solbin and smiled heartily, unable to contain his mirth.

The three men clapped and cheered for the new couple, but agreed that  _that_  was actually the most predictable outcome. “Guess you gotta treat us all to a meal now,” Yixing smiled proudly at Solbin. Even Yifan was genuinely happy for Baekhyunee and, on top of that, relieved at this affirmation that Solbin was truly taken. Not that he did not believe Yixing when he said that he and Solbin could never be a couple. He did believe Yixing, but between that and being fully able to trust someone...was a long way to go.

* * *

Jung Mijoo had 99 problems and while finding someone to warm her bed was not one of them, trying to making her marriage work certainly was. She had just gotten into an argument with her wife who had been asking for a divorce. Usually Mijoo would be able to pacify her and tell her the sweet lies she wanted to hear, then have makeup sex and call it a day. This time, her wife could absolutely  _not_  be reasoned with, and that got on Mijoo’s nerves sure enough. She needed to get some air, and decided to drive around for a bit to clear her mind. And soon enough she witnessed something that could really effectively divert her attention away from her marital qualms.

That unmistakable figure and rainbow hair in the distance that Mijoo had caught sight of could only belong to the one and only Oh Sehun.  _Damn_ , she thought to herself as she thought of her wife and all the men and women that she had been with before,  _I really do have a thing for models_.

“Isn’t it way past your bedtime, baby boy?” She commented mockingly to herself, instinctively glancing at the Rolex watch on her wrist.

Unfortunately for her, Sehun was gay as could be, and only had eyes for his boyfriend Luhan. In fact, he was downright making out with Luhan and then getting into the older boy’s car while Mijoo watched. Pursing her lips in pity, she supposed it was a  _different_  kind of bedtime for baby boy.

She looked on until they made a turn and drove away, and she did not bother to follow them. Instead, she went in the opposite direction, going aimlessly and just needing to blow off some steam. Her wife was being ridiculous and dramatic and, honestly, Mijoo was beginning to find her annoying too, but the CEO did not feel like letting go of her old toys yet. Their marriage will end when  _she_  said so, and not otherwise.

She let out a sigh and decided that she was finally calm enough to be in the mood for some music. Putting it on shuffle, she let out a pleased “aha!” when the first song that came on was “Only Look At Me” by Taeyang. As it played, she reminded herself that she could easily find another new toy to replace Sehun. But first, she was more invested in another one of her favorite old toys. Pulling over, she picked up her phone and texted him.

* * *

A few hours later, when everyone’s stomachs were filled, Yifan and Yixing left the hot pot restaurant and Yixing offered to walk Yifan back to his place.

“But I wanna wake up in your bed,” said Yifan playfully on the way.

“Not that I don’t want that, but what I want even more is for you to get a good night of sleep so you’re properly rested. Don’t think I don’t know it when you pull all-nighters at the studio,” said Yixing in disapproval.

Yifan chuckled. “Yes, sir.”

Yixing paused and glanced at Yifan. “Don’t call me that,” he said softly, but the look in his eyes had illustrated desires that were completely different than what his words conveyed.

“Oh, you like it when I call you that,” Yifan giggled at his interesting discovery.

Yixing scoffed and pretended to be mad. “I’m not the type of person to tell my partner all my kinks on the second date.”

“Don’t worry, sir. You’re hardly doing that. It was just  _one_  kink, surely not all,” Yifan winked. “And you didn’t even  _tell_  me. I found out about it myself!”

Yixing was aghast. “Are you a lawyer or a producer? Oh my goodness.”

“I am a man of many talents,” Yifan declared with confidence, smiling puckishly as he wrapped an arm around the shorter boy. He noticed how different a person he was when he was around Yixing, and how much happier he was. That was how he knew he always wanted Yixing in his life. “Yixing?”

“Yeah?”

“I...I really like you.”

“You’re not saying that just to get me to sleep with you, right?”

“What?” That was not the response he was expecting. “No! I’m not someone who says stuff just to trick people into thinking they’re more important than they really are, or just to lure people into bed with me. I get it; I probably sound like I’m trying to get in your pants or something, and while I absolutely do, I promise that’s not all that you mean to me. Do you have any idea how much you mean to me? Back when we first met at the VC pitch event I didn’t even know, didn’t even think that you would become so important to me. And even at the Chinese New Year party I had no clue that I would become so attached to you. And now, youuuuuuufvphm—”

This time, Yixing was the one to cut Yifan off mid-sentence with a kiss. Yixing found it amusing, actually, that Yifan was under the impression that he needed this much reassurance, when he was actually quite confident of Yifan’s affections toward him. Otherwise, he would not even have agreed to go on a second date with him. Heck, he would not even have wanted to ask for that first date.

When they finally pulled apart, Yifan blinked at Yixing softly. “So, um…” he licked his lips shyly, as if he still wanted Yixing’s taste. “Uh, I’m guessing you like me back?”

“I do. I really do. I don’t know how long that’s going to keep you convinced for, but whenever your doubts are at it again, just let me know and I will be by your side right away to give you kisses and remind you of just how much I fucking like you,” said Yixing happily.

“Wow, I am blessed to have you,” Yifan blurted and wrapped both arms around Yixing. “By the way, convince me again,” he requested impishly. “Remind me, remind me.”

“I should’ve seen this coming,” Yixing chuckled, but gave in anyway.

* * *

At the end of the night, after Yifan had exchanged goodnight texts with Yixing, the taller boy was still too elated, too euphoric to even fall asleep. He felt sure that nothing could bring him down as long as he had Yixing. Yixing had brought so much positivity into his life and it was almost enough to flush out all the negativity that bothered him.

Almost.

Yifan should have switched off his phone right after Yixing had gone offline and to sleep. Now, he regretted not doing that because he had received a new text from the last person he wanted to interact with. And not just one message, but a bunch of them.

_Mistress: Fanfan, I’m sorry we had to leave things off that way at the studio the other day. Why don’t you come to my office tomorrow and let’s finish what we started?  
_ _Mistress: Although if you can’t make it, I completely understand. I can always call your cute little cousin in instead. Wonder if he’s gonna beg for my strap like you_ always _did._

Yifan wanted to flush his phone down the toilet or something, since Mijoo was so full of shit. But then he would lose the selfies he took with Yixing today…

He used to quiver in fear when she contacted him; this time he was just disgusted and indignant. He should have blocked her but then there were some things he really needed to say. Rashly, he texted back.

_Fanfan: Why don’t you fuck off_  
_Fanfan: Get the hell out of my life  
_ _Fanfan: And leave my cousin alone too_

That was it. He was going to block her. He knew he should have done that long ago but this time he felt readier than before. He took a deep breath, and—

_Mistress: I’ll do all of the above, in that order too, if you make a deal with me. You have your terms, I have mine._

Fuck it. His eyes darted to the newest message to pop up on the left side of the screen, and before he knew it he was already reading it and continuing to give her his attention.

_Mistress: I don’t ask for much: spend one more night with me. From dusk till dawn. We’ll do things my way. If you agree, I’ll let go of your baby cousin and never contact him again once his internship ends._

Yifan was shocked for a moment, truly not knowing how to react. He froze and shivered, part of him wondering why he could not just go ahead and block her anyway, why he found it so tempting when she was somehow offering to take him back.

_Mistress: And if you don’t wanna play with me, well, I haven’t thought about it yet, but don’t give me ideas._

Should he reply? Should he not? Should he block?

_Mistress: So, Fanfan, what’s it gonna be? Yes or yes?_


	7. Fanfan

Facing Mijoo’s offer of a deal, Yifan figured that he could either not do anything and keep getting harassed by her, or take the bet and count on the off chance that she would keep her word.

It was the latter that he went with.

Mijoo was pleased. Very pleased. But also somewhat surprised. She really did not think Yifan would be  _that_  easy. Perhaps he really was her little strap slut. From dusk till dawn, she had him all to herself, claiming him again and again and again, taking every piece of him until he had nothing more to give. It was the best night of her life as she spent it fucking him into the mattress and practically every piece of furniture she owned till he was begging and crying, and then some more. Teasing him and edging him and making him scream, for release, for mercy, for more pleasure.

He knew what he had signed up for, from the moment he stepped into her penthouse suite for the final time. If he considered only the carnal pleasure he could get from this night, he would rate it 5 out of 5 stars, hands down. Even more if he could. His body absolutely loved it. She was extremely familiar with all his sensitive pleasure spots, and she remembered them too, stimulating him and pleasuring him like there was no tomorrow. Whenever she used his body for her pleasure, she was relentless, and put the ‘rough’ in ‘thorough’, just the way he liked it. Loved it. He almost did not want the sun to come up, wanting to stay in this high for a long, long time, blissed out. He wanted to belong to her completely, even tempted to forgive her and pardon all her shortcomings and crimes. After all, it felt so nice to have her in his arms. He wished she loved him. He wished she loved him enough to choose him over everyone else. He wished she loved him the way he loved her.

How he would love it if every night could be like this, if he could have her all to himself too. But all he could have was tonight.

And when Yifan went back to his place, he was not Fanfan anymore. He was never going to be Fanfan again. Limping and cautiously, very cautiously lifting himself onto the bed, he lied on his stomach and hugged a pillow tight. He ought to be glad that he never had to see her again — no more Mistress, not even Jung Mijoo, only someone from his past — but right now all he wanted to do was cry.

He loved her. He really did. Part of him still did. But he had to let go of all of that, and it hurt. It hurt him in a way that was beyond physical pain. As he sobbed, he groaned at his headache and tugged at his own hair in an attempt to make it go away. He thought maybe Mijoo would stick to being the liar that she was and keep contacting him anyway. At that thought, his head screamed ‘NO’, but his heart…

Now he was even surer that there was no way he could find the strength to block her from contacting him. Even as he feebly picked up his phone and tried, before so much as reaching her name on his contacts, he let out a whimper at the sight of Yixing’s name and cried even more loudly, hiccuping and unable to calm himself. All of a sudden, he was overwhelmed with disgust. Utterly disgusted with himself, with what he had done, so much that he wanted to throw up as if it could cleanse him, as if it could purge himself of the remnants of his affections and desires for her. How could he tell someone he liked them and then go and sleep with his ex, a pathological cheater and expert manipulator who was utterly toxic for him? Dammit, it felt so wrong now, especially since he knew that Yixing liked him back too. He would never be able to look Yixing in the eye again.

He knew from the start that he was just unwanted dirt and he could never be good enough for Yixing. He should have been mindful of that. He felt filthy, and growing stronger was the urge to punish himself somehow, and remind himself of how unworthy he was. He deserved to suffer and be miserable and forever alone.

Hissing as he shifted the pillow into another position, he sniffled as he tapped on the conversation with Yixing, ignoring the unread messages from him. Fresh tears rushed out from his eyes and he could barely see what he was typing but he continued anyway.

_Yifan: I take back what I said last night about my feelings for you_  
_Yifan: Please don’t contact me anymore_  
_Yifan: I don’t ever want to see you again  
_ _Yifan: Goodbye._

When he could not word anymore, he made the decision to block Yixing. He put his phone down, and then his exhaustion got the better of him. He passed out, and hours later when he woke up it was to the irritating sound of his ringtone.

It hurt to keep his eyes open but he coerced himself into doing it anyway. The caller ID was Baekhyun, and Yifan could not remember if he had told Baek that he was not going to be in the studio today. But he also decided that he did not want to disappoint Baekhyun by being an irresponsible colleague and therefore adding Baekhyun to the list of people he had failed, so he answered the call.

“WU YIFAN!!!” A female voice bellowed at him. He jumped up in fright and hissed sharply in pain, pulling the phone away but even at arm length he could hear her loud and clear. “WHY THE  _FUCK_  DID YOU DO THAT TO YIXING?!?! What the hell is wrong with you?!?! Do you have any idea how worried and upset you made him?! How DARE you do that to him and break his heart like that; you KNOW he likes you and this is how you treat him?! What the fuck is wrong with you! I swear to god if you don’t unblock his ass and explain this fucking mess and apologize to him on your fucking knees I will personally kick you in the balls and yo— oh my god, Solbin, for fuck’s sake — YOU LISTEN TO ME KRIS MOTHERFUCKING WU I WILL NOT LET YOU LIVE IF YO— shit—”

Yifan sighed and buried his face into the pillow once more. Solbin’s howling was still audible in the background but Baekhyun had finally regained control of his phone. “Hyung,” he said urgently, locking himself in the toilet for now. “Dude, what’s going on? What did you do? Something happen between you and Yixing?”

“Sorry, I don’t really wanna talk right now. I just wanna be alone,” said Yifan monotonously.

“You always say that whenever you need someone the most. Come on, just tell me, I won’t freak out or judge,” Baekhyun replied. “There’s clearly a problem and I just wanna help.”

“Hey, um, I can’t talk right now, somebody’s at the door,” said Yifan absentmindedly as he hopped out of bed, grimacing at how his body ached from the exertion just hours ago.

“You really gonna use this excuse on me, huh…” Shaking his head, Baekhyun ended the call anyway and dealt with his girlfriend instead.

Slowly, Yifan shuffled to the door. His hand was quivering as he placed it on the handle. He was too fatigue to bother to lean down to see through the spyhole, so he just opened the door anyway. If Solbin was indeed showing up to beat his ass, so be it. More suffering was what he deserved anyway.

His eyes were running on too little sleep, too little energy to decipher who it was. Or perhaps it was because Yixing was too worried, too impatient to wait even a split-second before literally throwing himself at Yifan and not caring that the incoming force was going to make the taller boy lose his balance. Yifan’s knees could barely support his body’s own weight after the intense events last night, let alone withstand the force that came from Yixing’s crushing hug. He almost collapsed but luckily just fell backward altogether where the wall helped at least a little. Yixing gasped and thought Yifan was about to faint — or worse. Carefully, Yixing helped him to the bed and let him lie down as comfortably as possible.

There was a lump in Yifan’s throat and he tried to brain, to word, to get a sentence out, like ask Yixing what he was doing here. But in the end, after much effort, he just choked on his words and broke into sobs once again.

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna talk,” said Yixing. His tone was not accusatory. His voice was gentle, comforting, and it was actually what Yifan wanted to listen to. “It really is. But just let me stay with you. Please don’t kick me out.”

Although it was difficult to talk while hiccuping, Yifan made an attempt at it anyway. “If you’re gonna stay,” he started, needing to take deep, deep breaths. “Then I might as well tell you everything,” he went on, his nails digging into his sweaty palms till it hurt. “Because if I don’t say it now, I’ll never find the strength to say it.”

Yixing nodded, and let Yifan begin to explain his past.

* * *

When Yifan was finished with all that he had to say, he was just numbly looking down at his lap, not daring to properly look at Yixing. He was too ashamed of himself to. No matter how many times he had said sorry to the shorter boy, he was still trapped in an abyss of remorse.

“I see,” said Yixing quietly.

“I know I’ve let you down,” Yifan uttered croakily.

“I’m not mad at you,” Yixing insisted.

“Well, I am mad at myself,” replied Yifan spitefully but with faint energy. “I feel like I’ve become exactly like Mijoo. Incapable of commitment. Incapable of exclusivity. I’m a selfish, immoral fucker like she is.”

“ _No_ ,” Yixing stated resolutely. He would have reached out to squeeze Yifan’s arm for emphasis or rubbed his back to soothe him, but he was also concerned that Yifan would not want to be touched. “You most certainly are not. You could never be. You are nothing like her, Yifan. If you were anything like her, you wouldn’t be beating yourself up over it like you are now. She feels zero guilt or shame and has no concern for morality — how could you ever think or say that you are just like her? No way. It’s clear that she manipulated you. And she threatened you. Used your cousin as leverage to make you sleep with her. She d—”

“And I  _agreed_  to her terms,” Yifan protested in agony. “I consented to it. I  _let_  her have her way with me. And her deal aside, I wanted her. I wanted to sleep with her. I wanted to her to choose me and I know I’m utterly weak for her. I still clung to the slight chance, the small possibility, that she might take me back. Perhaps we could rekindle our romance and give our relationship another try. And I  _know_  how immoral that is, how unhealthy and toxic it is, but I still...want it.” He chuckled dryly, mockingly, and in self-hatred. “I keep saying that I did it for Shixun, but that’s just a pretty excuse, a ruse to distract myself from the ugly truth. I have no way of knowing for sure that she’s going to keep her promise. She could be seducing Shixun right now and I can’t even do anything to prevent that, and I just—”

“No, baby, I’m sure that’s no—” Yixing shook his head and tried to console Yifan but it was futile. Even if he did not get cut off, Yifan’s mind was shut off and he could hardly let anyone in right now. It was no use, not until he was less of an emotional mess to be listening to reason.

“You know what? The worst part of it all is that, my motives aren’t as pure or as righteous as I’m sort of making it out to be. I agreed to spend the night with her not just because I wanted to spare Shixun the pain of being her toy...but also because I was jealous. I was jealous that she had set her sights on someone much younger and more attractive. I never meant much to her in the first place and once Shixun became part of the picture, I felt that I meant even less to her, and I didn’t like that. I thought that if I slept with her I could change her mind and remind her of how much she liked me — in her own way, or whatever. I thought that sex could save our relationship — and I was foolish enough to think that it was a relationship that  _could_  be saved, and one that was worth saving. It was neither. I was just stupid. Fucking stupid. I couldn’t even come to terms with my own jealousy and insecurities until, well, really recently. I couldn’t accept that I still cared about my value and worth in her eyes. I just couldn’t deal with it.”

After a pause, Yixing spoke. “Baby?”

Yifan looked up pleadingly, sniffling and shaking a little.

“This is too much for you. You need to rest,” Yixing pointed out. “Please, get some sleep. Your body needs it. Your mind needs it. Come on.”

“But I…”

“Just don’t worry about anything right now. I’ll go to Solbin an—”

“No,” Yifan said sharply, grabbing Yixing’s wrist. Not threateningly, just with need.

“I’m just going to explain some things to her so she’s gonna, like, calm down or something.”

“No,” Yifan simply reiterated, unwilling to let Yixing go. With his free hand he pulled the covers over his body, still trembling slightly.

“You want me to stay here with you?”

Yifan nodded, too sleepy to say a word. His grip only loosened slightly when he was fully asleep. Yixing stayed with him, quietly sighing as he thought about all that Yifan had revealed just now. From the way he phrased it, Yixing got the impression that Yifan somehow believed that he had cheated on him. Yixing, however, did not see it that way. They had just been on two dates — it was not even a proper relationship. He also felt that he and Yifan were not ready to be in a relationship yet. It was too soon and they still did not know each other  _that_  well. In particular, Yifan was most certainly not ready yet. He had not moved on yet. Mijoo had left too deep a scar on Yifan’s heart. For sure still needed time to process his feelings and heal, and Yixing was fine with that. He knew very well that relationships — at least, serious relationships that were meant to be cherished — were not going to come that easily. He was going to have to discuss this with Yifan, as well as get Yifan to unblock him. But right now he really just wanted Yifan to be well-rested and for him to catch a break from his emotional conflicts and turmoils.


	8. Blessed

When Solbin and Shixun stepped out of Mijoo’s office building after finishing the last day of their internship, they were in high spirits. Solbin, in particular, was glad that it was getting warmer and she no longer had to shiver and squeak every time she went outside. However, it was also the time of the year when Yixing was busiest with schoolwork. He pushed through without complaint, but it just meant that he would not be able to meet up with Solbin after work that often.

Yifan, on the other hand, had all the reasons to go pick Shixun up from work whenever he could. Usually, they also went back to Shixun’s place to have dinner with his parents, like this evening.

“Ge, look at my reference letter,” said Shixun proudly, taking the folded document out from the envelope and handing it to his cousin. Chuckling with glee, he added, “CEO-nim penned this for me personally. I can’t believe she praised me so much, even though just a month ago I was napping all day at work and stealing all the food from the pantry.”

Yifan gave his cousin a smile and read the letter gingerly. He tried to make it less obvious when he exhaled in relief afterward. “Hey, good job! You’ve got a ‘positive attitude even in face of adversities’. You’re doing well. Ge is so proud of you. This is really good for you. Your CEO-nim seems to be really influential and has shares in quite a number of other corporations. Now that you have a reference letter from her, your employment prospects are gonna be so much better.”

“Yeah, I’m lucky everything worked out for me. Oh, man, I’m gonna miss the snacks though…” Shixun drawled as he lied back, rubbing his tummy and wrinkling his nose at the smell of dinner being prepared in the kitchen. He was completely relaxed and completely oblivious to the bullets that he had dodged partly because of some sacrifices that Yifan had made behind his back. Seeing Shixun like this and happily maintaining his relationship with Luhan, Yifan was relieved. So far, at least, Mijoo had not made any effort to return to his life, and that included showing up to the studio unannounced. But he also knew all too well that Mijoo was always ten steps ahead of him. He — or any of her preys — could be falling into her trap without even knowing it before it was too late. So at the end of the day, could Yifan really ever let his guard down?

* * *

Albeit constantly ten steps ahead of everyone, there was still one thing Mijoo did not see coming.

The CEO was not needed in the office until the afternoon, so she had the entire morning off to relax. Her favorite way to do that was just to put on some music and enjoy some fine wine. Making her way down to the cellar, she sat down comfortably.

Upstairs, her wife was standing in front of a mirror, stopping to put on some accessories and fix her hair. The mirror reflected all of her stunning beauty and radiance of a model, but none of the thoughts that hid beneath such a pretty, youthful face. Especially not all the pain caused by the failure that was her marriage to Jung Mijoo.

After fetching what she needed, she too went downstairs to join her wealthy wife. Albeit Mijoo's eyes did sometimes wander to the Château Margaux 1994 sitting prettily in the specially designed temperature-controlled wine cabinet, its 1990 vintage was what truly pleased her. The wine lingered long after caressing her palate, leaving her with a satisfied smile on her face and an empty glass that she wished she could fill one more time. Rarely was she able to find something with the ability to please a hedonist as herself. It was perfect, a sublime experience every time, and she just wished she could consume it over and over again.

Still, she pushed these thoughts to the side for now and refocused on what was within her reach, looking up at her wife who was approaching. The model was gorgeous and well-dressed as always, but had never looked this solemn before, breaking her usual countenance of meekness and innocence.

With a completely serious face, she looked Mijoo in the eye and announced something life-changing. It left the CEO speechless and not even so much because of the words that came out of the model’s mouth, but what she laid out on the counter: three sets of divorce papers.

* * *

On another evening that the producer trio did not have to spend meeting with clients, they had all gone to the barbecue party hosted by Solbin's friend, Seulgi, as well as her fellow university band member Irene. The two of them had decided to chase their dreams beyond being in the uni band. They were starting out as a local band, ready to perform wherever they were needed. The producer trio had been helping them look for opportunities, and so girls were throwing this party to thank the boys.

Yixing was not having as much fun that night, however, and only relied on instant noodles and snacks as he was busy with studying. He definitely had some assignments that he needed to get done. The good news was that he was highly motivated to get shit done because tonight — he was getting so excited just thinking about tonight — Yifan was going to come over to his place after the BBQ party. They were going to talk about stuff and perhaps he might spend the night here.

Pursuant to the events after Yifan's last encounter with Mijoo, obviously he had unblocked Yixing. But there was still so much that they needed to address, and in particular a lot of Yifan's unresolved feelings.

Perhaps laden with guilt, Yifan was desperate to prove to Yixing and, above that, prove to himself that he really did have feelings for Yixing, and that these feelings were true. He wanted to use sex to make it up to Yixing, and to make Yixing believe that he was someone worth keeping, so that Yixing would not leave him. He would not be able to take it if he had to deal with losing Yixing, and he knew he could never go back to Mijoo again. But after some thought, he held back, stopped himself, because he knew that it would not work. Sex was easy but it was not a magical cure, a quick fix, for all the problems under the sun. Even if it could bring about a remedial effect, it was not going to be lasting. He had fallen for this enough times; he was not going to make the same mistake again. Especially since he wanted his relationship — or whatever it was — with Yixing to be a long-term one. He knew that their boundaries and terms were a bit unclear at the moment, undefined, and he wanted to do something about that too. It looked like there was so much that was going on, so much that was wrong with him, that even though he wished he could fix himself and solve all the puzzles, he hardly even knew where to start.

"I'm not leaving you," said Yixing in reassurance as they cuddled in the limited space of his bed. "If I were, I—"

"Don't," Yifan pleaded, hushing Yixing by placing a finger at the shorter boy's lips. "Don't say it."

Yixing reached up to hold that hand, feeling how large and warm it was. "My point still stands. Well, how about...you start by telling me how you feel about me."

"Well..." Yifan began but turned his head toward the pillow a little bit.

"Shy?" Yixing giggled. "What thoughts could you possibly have been having about me that would make a grown man shy like this..."

"Why are you teasing me..." Yifan whispered, but grinned when Yixing leaned in to kiss the top of his head. "Okay I'll tell you. But first I feel like I need to clarify that I did mean it when I said that I like you a lot. I know I must've made you freak out when you received my messages the other day...can I take back what I said about taking back what I said about liking you? Because I do like you...like, a lot."

Ruffling Yifan's hair as he listened, Yixing replied, "the feeling is mutual, baby. Otherwise I wouldn't be so happy that you're coming over. I like you for who you are, okay? I know you have issues and you've made mistakes, but who hasn't? We've all got our own flaws. And that's not even all that defines you. Your commitment to what you're passionate about, your protectiveness over the people you care about, your willingness to help people and make the people around you happy...I don't think you even know how happy you make me."

"I make you happy?" Yifan smiled softly.

"See? You aren't even aware, and you don't even need to try," said Yixing. "So yeah. You are definitely not someone who only cares about their own enjoyment. Not someone who doesn't give a damn about other people's feelings. Maybe you don't see that yourself, but I do. And I'm sure the people around you also do. I'm sure Chanyeol and Baekhyun and especially Shixun have witnessed time and again how worthy of love you are. So even if you don't believe in yourself, you gotta believe  _them_."

"I believe  _you_ ," Yifan replied happily.

"Good," Yixing beamed, and gave Yifan's hand an emphatic squeeze. "So...here comes an awkward question: what are we?"

"Hmm...I think it would be nice if I could have a functional romantic relationship for once," Yifan answered, "and you are the one that I want a fresh start with."

"But are you ready for it?" Yixing asked. "You know I haven't really dated in a long, long time. We've only been on a couple dates but already I feel so confident about what we share. If it were entirely up to me, of course I'd like to pursue something further with you. But I  _really_  need to make sure — and I need  _you_  to make sure — that you feel ready. I understand that you carry lots of scars from how you've been hurt before, and it's going to take time to heal. So I'm going to give you time, and I'm not gonna give up on you. I just want to be here with you and here for you."

"Then, I can call you mine in the meantime?"

"Oh, aren't you a possessive baby..."

"Well, can I?" Yifan pressed on, pouting and poking Yixing's chest. "Can I be your baby? Can I?"

"Y-ye-yeah," Yixing spluttered, overwhelmed by the suddenly soaring urge to kiss the taller boy. "Yes, you can call me yours. And yes, of course you can be my baby."

Yifan smiled heartily, feeling as if all his burdens had been lifted and could no longer plague him. That also put him at ease and relaxed him enough to make him want to fall asleep. It was much nicer to spend a night this way, just cuddling with Yixing and being honest about their feelings. Yifan realized that he had never had that before, a pleasure so simple that did not even involve any of them taking off their clothes. He wanted to make it last, snuggling closer to Yixing and savoring this moment in which he was truly happy.

"Goodnight, sir," he said sleepily, feeling his eyelids become heavy.

Yixing smiled too. "Goodnight, baby."

* * *

While it seemed like everybody was happy with where their lives were going, thriving and prospering in their own ways, nobody had bothered to spare any thought for the less lucky ones who found their dreams too far out of reach. Not everyone was blessed like Irene and Seulgi to be able to be part of the university band, let alone build a career in performing music. Some students never made it into the band in the first place...like Krystal, one of the myriad contacts in Baekhyun’s phone that once concerned Solbin but now meant very little if anything at all.

Bitter about her own failure that nobody gave a shit about, she was strolling alone on the streets right outside the university campus. She found herself smoking cigarettes in frustration while she cursed and kicked empty beer cans to her heart’s content. Not that anyone would care, and it was unlikely that any cars would bother to pass by this spot at this hour of the day. Which was why she found it strange when headlights shone and a vehicle approached, not just in her general direction but it seemed to be approaching her directly. It was moving slowly, so definitely not a threat to her safety. She ran a hand through her hair absentmindedly and frowned at the oncoming vehicle. She was no expert when it came to cars, but it sure did look like something fancy and expensive. This only made her even more puzzled as to why someone so supposedly wealthy would be doing here.

Finally the car pulled to a stop when it reached her side. Once the windows were rolled down, the driver was revealed to be a woman, whom Krystal judged as no more than 30 years old.

“Ditch the fags,” said the woman assertively, raising an eyebrow in disapproval. “It ruins your lungs and your vocal chords.”

Disgruntled, Krystal shot a glare at her.  _The audacity to tell me what to do_ , thought the younger girl. “Leave me alone,” she scowled, even though deep down inside she actually craved the attention. Attention to her was more like a drug, more addictive than the nicotine between her fingers.

The older woman barked a laugh. “I’ve seen your Youtube covers, Krystal. And your vlogs. I know you wish you could be in your uni band. I know you wanna be famous. It’s just too bad you don’t think anybody recognizes your talents, huh?”

“It’s none of your business,” Krystal shot back viciously, feeling hurt and humiliated. Unfortunately for her, feeling this way meant she was falling right into the lady’s formulaic trap: digging someone’s wounds open and then offering a magical healing band-aid.

“Oh, but it is my business. Literally.” A smug smirk crept onto her face, and under the sparsely spaced street lights she looked even more sly. “Ever heard of Irons Entertainment?”

“Duh, it’s not like I only know the Big 3,” Krystal replied right away, sounding more interested now than wallowing in her misery over her shit luck. “What do you want?”

“Well, considering I already own 30% of their shares as well as my own firm, there isn’t much else that I want and can’t get. So the question, sweetheart,” she smiled saccharously, “is what do  _you_  want?”

Krystal gaped at her for a moment, allowing herself to wonder if this mysterious woman was sent from heaven to make all her dreams come true. “I...of course I wanna debut and be a superstar. Whatever the cost. But what...why...how come...who are you?”

She fished out a name card and handed it to the hopeful singer whose eyes were no longer filled with spite and dispirit. Instead they were but shimmering with greed and gratitude, and with awe and ambition.

“Jung Mijoo-ssi…” said Krystal under her breath, studying the name card and reverently holding it with both hands.

“That’s right,” she replied coolly. “But I prefer to be called... _Mistress_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I have had such an amazing journey writing this fic! Thanks for everyone's support and all the kudos; it means a lot to me and gives me motivation to carry on writing member/member pairings. I hope I continue to do well~
> 
> This fic is definitely not the end of the series. It's just the second installment and I expect to have probably five altogether, featuring different ships. Mayhaps this is not the last you'll see of Jung Mijoo...our favorite Mistress. (;


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